See Hatsie Write

Is there anybody out there?

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Hello.  Hi.  Remember me?

I’m the person who used to write on this website and tell you all about the big and little things going on around me-the things I liked, the things I did, the places I went, and the food I ate.  I spent almost 5 years doing that in various forms.  It was so much fun telling you my stories.

Then I stopped.

It’s hard to pinpoint why I stopped coming here, or why I suddenly didn’t want or need to share myself publicly.  I know that the story I told myself was that I wasn’t happy with the direction the internet was going, that it all seemed vapid and self-promoting and at its worst, really cruel.  I told myself that I had real life relationships to nurture.  Even so, there wasn’t a pivotal moment, no nasty comment war or troll that wouldn’t leave me alone.  One day I posted about our new life in Texas, and then I just quietly left.

This morning, three years later, I was reading a chapter in my book about how creative losses mostly go unmourned and then calcify into crusty scar tissue around our most precious gift: our creativity.  I read about how that crusty scar tissue turns into the ultimate bummer: creative block.  I read this truth and it just kind of opened.  I opened.  I felt grief for what I had left untouched for so long, for the joy and delight I used to feel while writing.  So I came here, to See-Hatsie.com, and read my last post.  I remembered her, that girl that wrote about her new city.  I liked her, even!  She wasn’t vapid or self-promoting or cruel.  She was authentic, sharing stories, seeking connection.  If she was simply trying to bring some light to her life, then likely the rest of this virtual world is earnestly doing the same thing.

All of this is to say, I’m back.  Hey.

It would be impossible to tell you all of the things that have happened in the last three years.  A bullet pointed list would look something like this:

  • We are still in Texas, but not in that little town outside of Fort Worth.  Now we’re in a little town outside of Dallas, after having lived in Rockwall with my parents for some weeks, Houston for some months, and then College Station for some years.
  • The cat is still large and in charge.  Tyson reigns supreme.
  • K and I got engaged in September 2016 and then married in May 2017.  Had I been writing then, I would have posted this video, as I planned to do from basically the very first day I pressed publish in 2010.  Our wedding was perfect and authentic and just my favorite day.  We gathered with 30 of our closest people in New York City, our favorite place, and danced the night away.
  • Just last weekend we brought home a puppy.  His name is Buck and he’s curly and sweet and currently sleeping belly up next to me.  When he wakes up, he’ll sneeze for sure.
  • I’m still cooking, mostly tried and true weeknight favorites like taco night, baked ziti, and chicken stir fry.  One thing that wasn’t missed by K or anyone for that matter is that no one has to wait for the photo shoot to end before they can dig in.
  • I turned 30 and put way too much pressure on the fact that I was about to turn 30.  The sky didn’t open, the wisdom of the ages was not bestowed upon me in one exhilarating wave, and I did not all at once become compelled to start really thinking about the housing market.  (That’s what adults do, right?  Think about the housing market?)  Instead life kept ticking along and 30 looks a lot like 29 did, which is to say, wonderful.  I learn a little every day, I try to get a little better every day, I feel grateful every day, and I rest easy knowing that life is happening now and doesn’t start when the clock strikes (insert age here).
  • I traveled to: Boston, San Antonio, Sonoma, Midland, New Orleans, Fredricksburg, Wimberley, Abilene, New Braunfels, Boston, Austin, Houston, Las Vegas, New York, San Francsico, Sonoma, Newport, Boston, New York, San Antonio, New York, Islamorada, Key West, San Diego, and Cozumel.

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So where does this leave me today?  Well, I don’t know.  I’m trying not to think about the big picture, about what could or should happen.  Today I’m sitting down to write.  Tomorrow I’ll do the same thing.  I hope you’ll visit and join me in the conversation, but it’s okay if you don’t.  I know that there’s a lot out there in the world that calls for our attention–really important and beautiful and sometimes awful things.  But I’ll be here writing about my life, about the things that interest me, and hopefully sharing a little bit of light and love out in the world.  If that interests you, welcome.  I’m sure glad to be here.

 

10 thoughts on “Is there anybody out there?

  1. Hello Hatsie 🙂
    I just wanted to say hello and hope that all is well with you and Kevin.
    Richard and I are in Midland, TX at the moment. I am with CLS and Richard is with another service company. Are you guys still with CLS? Still on the rail?
    Well, it is good to see you get back to being “your” creative! We all need it, but we don’t all do it! Tell Kevin hello…as well as Tyson and Buck!

    • Hey Renee’! So glad to hear from you and that you and Richard are doing well. We are still with CLS, on the rail. Next time you’re in the Dallas area we should get together!

  2. Pingback: Morning Pages, a Daily Practice | See Hatsie

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